"WHAT'S COOKIN' IN DA SKILLIT?" AVATAR OF The multi talented Erik Dillard

For those of you who may not know, in additon to animation, illustration, storyboarding, editorial cartooning, and of course, live caricature, your boye, The Surfer is also "into singing"

No, I aint interested in cutting no album, going on American Idol or singin in your shower, but singing, just like art, has always been a passion of mine,and In the past few months Ive been blessed enough to be led to a vocal coach and friend who has really done wonders for my voice, and reignited my passion.

Inquisitive soul that I am, whenever I'm interested in something, I ALWAYS do my homework on it to get better. Ive been going online lately and discovered a couple of excellent online vocal coaches whose vocal exercises I've been practicing and enjoying. This is the first in a series of their pictures and stories.

The first one is ERIK DILLARD, the host of the show, "ERIK DILLARD'S VOCAL CLINIC" which can be seen on youtube.
http://www.youtube.com/user/lloyd614
His WEBSITE
http://www.erik-dillard.com/

The first thing that attracted me to ERIK was that he's a funny guy. Being an artist and a joker myself, it made me instantly connect with him. He also has a very engaging online persona that really gets you involved, and makes you feel like he's really talking to YOU personally in each lesson. Many people on line attempt this, and only end up looking and sounding forced and contrived. Erik makes you feel each lesson was tailor made for YOU personally. Another interesting thing about Erik is that he is an African American who speaks fluent Japanese and is teaching music in Japan. I found this especially interesting having never encountered this, which added to his appeal.

I can also honestly say that by following his exercises, I can HEAR and FEEL a marked change in my voice! I cant wait to see my vocal teacher to show off! LOL!

Do yourself a favoe, if you have a passion for singing and check out Erik's Channel on youtube.

You wont be dissapointed and will definitely learn something!



Oh, I almost forgot to tell ya, The line,'''


"WHAT'S COOKIN' IN DA SKILLIT?"

Is Erik's Tag Line!

Nothing like a great tag line if you're in business!

Nate Kapnicky....Barf oh riffic Caricature artist....

Nate Kapnicky is a guilty pleasure.... If I ever let my dark side loose, I would want to draw like Nate Kapnicky..... Nate is a master at chewing up faces, spitting them out, and using the uneaten parts to make caricatures. His Blogsite, "Jackin faces" is not for the faint of heart,or those of you who like those cute and fuzzy caricatures you sometimes get at theme parks. I visited Nate's site and saw this great pic he did of my caricature pal, Alison Gelbman. Alison's normally cute as a button, but Once Nate put her face through the meat grinder he reduced it to this horrific mish mash you see here. For all it's goryness, it's "totally her!" The man's a genius. All I gotta say is, if you want a "nice" caricature, sit in someone ELSE'S Chair!

Same face, different style...

Believe it or not, even though we're all individuals with distinct personalities, habits, and mannerisms, people STILL think that "all caricature artists draw the same". Frequently when Im doing retail caricature and I ask people if they'd like to be drawn, they sometimes say, "oh I GOT ONE OF THOSE already" as if its the same thing as buying an orange of something......
The truth is that any given artist draws the same face in a variety of ways basedon a variety of different factors including tools used, the artists mood, personal feelings towards the subject, or at the risk of sounding "spacey" the "energy" a given subject is projecting. Take This example for instance. Same face, two different treatments. The one of the left is "cartoony" simplified, something that you might see in an animated drawing, while the other is semi realistic.This guy's face had something undefinable in it that prompted me to draw hism in two ways and BOTH interpretations are equally valid. In doing two seperate caricatues like this, I usually draw the more "realistic" version first, then, taking the essential characterstics from the caricature, I use them to make a more simplified drawing. Its great fun, and easy to do.
Viva La Difference! It's what makes caricature MORE fun than simply "drawing a portrait. Booooooooooorinnnnnnng!!!!

Ridiculously Good Looking.....

Not EVERYONE is self concious about being drawn on the train, in fact some people think SO much of themselves, they actually show you what they consider to be their best side when they think you're drawing them, just like this guy here, who judging from his facial expression just KNEW that he was ridiculously good looking, Big NOSE and ALL!!! Self Esteem is EVERYTHING people!!

Bombastic Bigg Babe on the Brooklyn, Bound B Train...

She saw me drawing her and tried to turn away, but TOO LATE! she was sooo ticked off and started pouting!She was positively livid. Visually, she had nice rounded forms that artists always love to draw, and also had these great big cheeks that looked like she'd drank an entire pitcher of koolaid, and was refusing to swallow.

I roughed this out on notebook newsprint paper, started to ink it, and then felt it looked better rough. I thought it was really strange that she had this backpack which must have been so loaded down with books and junk that it hung sooo low down to her backside.

Hammer and Nail a LOVE STORY???

I wanted to focus on the complicated,yet dysfunctional, yet tragic, yet co dependant, yet confusing and sad relationship that some people find themselves trapped in......
This is a story about Domestic violence to be sure, but also raises questions about this very sensitive issue.... Does the Hammer "REALLY " WANT to change, but cannot? Does the Nail "REALLY" WANT to leave, but cannot? Each partner is tied to the other in this web of violence, forgiveness, passion.... No easy answers... just a lotta hurt.

Bonked on youtube

letting my story of dysfunctional parenting, bullying and it's consequences go out to a wider audience......hopefully.

colorized action pat pencil test animation sequence

NO PANTS SUBWAY RIDE

MAN! I WISH I WAS RIDING THE TRAIN THAT DAY!!! ARRRRRGH!!! ONLY IN NEW YORK!

Rush Hour Lovers

One of the best things I love about riding the A train two and from Manhattan from Far Rockaway is the ride from the Howard Beach JFK Station to The Broad Channel station. What makes the ride so special is that The A Line Crosses Jamaica Bay before reaching either station, depending if youre traveling to, or from Manhattan, and on a clear day your are treated to a spectacular at times breathtaking view of The Bay, that even makes hardened subway commuters lay down their newspapers for a moment, to take in the view. The distance between the two stations is the longest between any two in the New York City Subway system, so there is more than enough time to enjoy the scenery. In fact, Ive often thought, as the sun is setting, it makes for a very romantic ride.

Apparently, Im not the only one who thinks so. As I looked up from my drawing pad, I saw two lovers alternately looking out the window, staring into each other's eyes and holding hands. The scene was beautiful. They didnt fit the part, visually, of lovers you might see on the silver screen. He was no Brad Pitt, she was no Angelina, but you could just tell their love for each other was so strong, it was almost tangible. They sat in silence, just enjoying the ride, looking at the water, and enjoying the warmth of each other's hands, knowing the person they loved was on the other end.

It was a perfect picture and I wanted to give it to them , but they didnt need my picture....


They had the real thing.

Going into the Tunnel....

As I was caricaturing people on the train today, something so obvious, yet almost forgotten, occured to me.

on the train we spend a LOT of time underground.
In the tunnel.
Where it's dark.
In the tunnel.
where it's scary!


BOO!!!!

I remember as a kid riding the subway for the first time how terrified I was when ever we left the outdoor stations and went underground into the tunnel! There was always a moment of real intense fear accompanied by a million random thoughts, among them being... what if the train gets stuck in the tunnel? what if we cant get out? are there monsters and cavemen in the tunnels?
The one tunnel that was especially frightening was the one between High Street Brooklyn Bridge and Bway Nassau. I recall traveling with my mom as a kid and asked her why we always spent so long in this particular tunnel. She casually replied, "it's because we're traveling underwater!" Im sure you can imagine the unexplainable horror my five year old, hyperactive, artistic mind must have visualized upon hearing THAT news!.. Visions of billions of gallons of water spilling onto the tracks, leaving us trapped commuters wondering if we were going to be electrocuted or drowned.....

As I grew into adulthood I calmed my fears to the point where I didnt really think about it too much, and yet in a city full of millions of people, I wondered how my fellow commuter were dealing with their own personal "tunnel issues" or if they even had any. I began studying faces while underground to get some type of visual cue as to what people might be feeling....

I dont know If I captured anything concrete, but it did make for a more intense study of their faces.

Random thoughts on the art of Caricature WHY do I DO THIS?

It's been said, sadly by people in my profession, that Caricature is "garbage art" Tt's "disposable art" , It's "fast food".

Well, all I can say is that "fast food" is a gourmet meal to a starving person, and how Disposable is your shadow? your reflection?

From time to time I find myself coming back to the question, What IS IT between me and caricature that keeps me coming back. In this exerpt of a letter I wrote to a potential agent, (they havent accepted me yet) I asked this question and wrote the following answer. Maybe one of you readers will find it useful.

My passion is CARICATURE. To me it's MORE than "throwaway Party Art" and "drawing people with big noses". I use caricature as a way to explore, and expose the personality and soul of a person. As human beings we all wear masks hoping that no one will pull them down and expose the hidden parts of our personality, leaving us naked and exposed. The Caricature artist acts as a human lie detector, seeing beyond the masks that people put on , and through observation, exaggeration, and amplification are able to find the true face of the person behind the "painted smile" . Throughout my career as a professional caricature entertainer and humorous portrait artist, it is not uncommon for people to say to me, "when you drew my picture , I see my father in there", or " how did you know that I was an angry person? I was SMILING!" Through the art of caricature I am also able to portray emotions, and give editorial comment. My ongoing project, and muse is something I call, "SUBWAYSURFING" or EXTREME LIFE DRAWING. where I draw caricature portraits on the NYC Trains and buses. My observations and exploits can be viewed on my blog at
wwww.subwaysurfer.blogspot.com
I am also the author of two books on the subject which can also be found on the blog.
This work has been a way for me to bring community to a cramped often uncomfortable place where intimacy is forced upon us and where we meet people of every conceivable race, gender, social economic/political status. The Subway, for me is a mobile melting pot where cultures intermingle and clash en route to destinations only known to the individual commuter.

ANIMATION PIONEER ART CLOKEY

I just learned that Claymation Animation Pioneer ART CLOKEY, passed on Jan 9th at the age of 88.

As soon as I read the news, I realized that I had forgotten that CLOKEY also added to my growing list of early artistic influences. in an ASSOCIATED PRESS article which can be read in it's entirety at

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34778153/ns/us_news-life/
For you youngins who are scratchin your head wondering, "WHO DA HECK IS GUMBY??" he was a green bendable...er... thing... LOL! with a sloping head, and ran around with a red horse named pokey.
I know that doesnt sound like much of a discription, but Gumby is pretty hard to define... I do know this though. He was the "must have" toy that EVERY kid on the block and the neighborhood had, and even older kids thought he was cool. One of the reasons for GUMBY'S Coolness was that he would have these crazy avant garde type of adventures that always kept you guessing. Unlike other cartoons of that area, Gumby seemed "real" due to the claymation which was very new at the time, and unlike the flintstones, and other cartoons he could MORPH and bend into unbelievable shapes. Bumby seemed like something out of a dream. I believe he appealed to children like me because he seemed like a character a KID would think up.


Clokey was also The creaor of one of my favorite shows, Davey and Goliath. Despite the Associated press' disrespectful "nod" if you want to call it that, to the show (they made light of the show's "moralizing" and stated that it was often satirized)
I remember watching the series as a kid, and was both entertained and inspired by it.
The Show was produced by the Lutheran Church in the 1950s and 1960s and televised widely across the United States, the Caribbean and around the world. In fact,
The program has been translated into seven languages, and the show has been broadcast on every continent except Antarctica. That's actually very impressive for a series of it's kind, IMO, and as I remember the show tackled issues that effect ALL of us including predjudice and racism, respect for authority, and sharing. Certainly these are values I HOPE parents even today would WANT their children to learn and exercise, and yet there seems to be a school of thought that frowns on things like "good manners, and being tolerant of others. I believe the MAJOR criticism is that the show, was Biblically based, and the main characters were encouraged to solve problems by having faith in God a word in our present day that is practically "outlawed".

Base Guitarists On The L Train

Was riding the L Train from 14th Street to 8th ave, and overheard these two musicians talking to each other....."man, I gave the dude some money! he was good!..." said one of them, as he was commenting on a subway musician he'd just heard. ".....not me ...." said the other, ".....wouldnt even shake his hand, it's a Bad Omen!" I couldnt resist lookin at the face of someone who said something so outrageous, and started drawin him. He noticed me drawin him and then HE took out a sheet of paper and started drawing me! I took it in stride and when I completed my sketch showed it to him and gave it to him. I liked the fact that his face had this sullen intense look which reminded me of Steve McQueen. He had a great sense of humour though, in spite of his intense look and he laughed and handed me his drawing. His fellow base player felt left out and made a subtle request to have his picture done also. He spoke with a southern drawl and when i looked at him he kinda reminded me of actor, Tommy Lee Jones. He had that Kind of vibe. Visually he had features like his bud, that were "made" for caricatue. Slicked back hair, intense blue eyes, cheekbones that looked like handballs when he grinned, and that classic "BUTT CHIN" we caricaturists love to make fun of. I handed him the picture and he loved it. As they got off I very quickly made copies for myself that Im posting here. I really wish these guys luck as musicians, they definitely have a signiture look that should carry them places.

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT SAM KLEMKE

Been wanting to feature Sam klemke for a long time of this blog. Sam is the eptome of what a caricature artist is. He makes his living purely as a caricature artist, travels around the country from state to state where ever there is a fair, a party, a Bar Bat Mitzvah, or even the Opening of an envelope, Sam is there drawing caricatures and smoozin the crowd.

Sam is first off VERY good. SCAREY GOOD in fact. When I first got into the caricature biz many moons ago, I discovered Sam's work in the NCN's Trade Magazine, "EXAGGERATED FEATURES" where he was the comic artist who did hilarious, sometimes thought provoking comics on NCN Convention events, as well as his wacky adventures as a traveling caricature artist. Within the pages of his comics Sam would sometimes get philosophical about what it means to him to be an artist, the trials and tribulations of our profession and even the potential dangers! There's one cartoon where he writes about the time he was mugged in his Van which is hilarious. Thank God He survived or we would have lost a great artist.Sam's depictions of the various caricature artists of the NCN, now known as the ISCA, International Society of Caricature Artists, are always spot on accurate. If he had the inclination and opportunity,Sam could easily be a MAD Magazine cartoonist.
In addition to being a great draftsman, which would be scarey enough, Sam is also a born entertainer. Ive met few people who can out talk and out smooze me into complete silence, but Sam is a master at hitting all the right notes verbally, and can literally drown you in a barrage of verbage, making you laugh yourself to death as youre going under.
Sam's caricature adventures can be found in his book, A PARTY OF ONE which he sells on his website. I personally had him sign my copy at a convention and he had did one better and drew a caricature of me on the back with a SHARPIE!!

Sam is also a film maker and has more hilarious stuff on youtube that you can find by following this youtube link if you double click on the film Ive posted.

I definitely count Sam as one of my inspirations for wanting to do autobiographical comics, and Im sure anyone else who views his stuff will be equally inspired.





Now that Ive done enough brown nosing, I think I'll go and wash my face... the smell is beginning to get to me....

Chipmunk pencil test, turn cycle, spitting eyeout and back flip

The eyespitt/wiping mouth part was taken from Bruce Lee. I loved the way Bruce used to spitt out blood and wipe his mouth while looking at his opponent with contempt. I tried to get that same vibe on the chipmunk as he apat out the warrior's eye. The Backflip sequence was the very FIRST animation I did on the sequence and gave me a lotta confidence

chipmunk swinging eyeball

original pencil test for the Comedy on Comedy Chipmunk vs warrior segment. Here, our hero has just ripped out the warrior's eyeball, and is now swinging it in "olympic fashion" into a tree stump.

Warrior Pain

Another pencil test from the Chipmonk vs Warrior segment. in this clip he's doing the "dance of Pain" after having his eyeball ripped out, and I have him swinging the spear down at the chipmonk.

CHIPMUNK VS WARRIOR ANIMATION

FINALLY was able to successfully upload an animattion project I did a few years ago for an INDY Film maker, Tyler Cartner, whose film mocumentary, "Comedy on Comedy" featured a short, animated "commercial" of a Chipmunk vs. a Greek warrior who tries to take his nut.

Never try to take a Chipmunk's NUT!! LOL!

Tyler suggested we have the chipmunk jump on the warriors family jewels, but I thought it would be more hilarious to have him take the whole eye out, since the "Grapping the jewels" gag has been done so many times. In putting together the "showdown" sequences when they're both "facing off" I thought about that great scene in Clint Eastwoods' "The Good The Bad and The Ugly" which had this great buildup focusing on facial expression, body language and weapons before the attack finally comes. I communicated this to the director and WIN, the After Effects, Flash Animator, pulled it off beautifully. I was so pleased.

I was responsible for the character design, the backgrounds, the layouts and keyframes that I did in Monkeyjam, a pencil test program, prior to giving everything to WIN so he could work his magic in Flash and After Effects. What made things even more phenominal about this project that we all met ONCE in Tylers studio to collaborate on our individual parts and everything else was done by email. Did I mention that WIN spoke NO ENGLISH?? In the meeting I would draw something, have him approve it, draw something else, and so on. We both used a lot of made up sign language for that first and only meeting!! LOL

Tylers film was actually VERY GOOD, even without this cartoon addition, but I was glad Tyler included me on this. I give Tyler a lot of credit for using me on this project as he was initially just looking for a FLASH ANIMATOR who could do it all. I suggested to him to take a chance and use me for the character designs, backgrounds, storyboards and key frames, and then he could use a flash guy to put everything together. It worked like a charm and few directors would have been open to the idea. Thankfully he was.

Heres a collections of drawings and stuff that I did for the project.

BONK! A story about dysfunctional family, bullying and it's consequences by subwaysurfer

THE CHRIST CHRONICLES COMIC CHAPTER THREE JESUS IN THE DESERT

The Christ Chronicles is a story that Ive wanted to write/illustrate for a long time. I remember channel surfing one sunday back in the 70's, and this contemporary version of the Gospels was on TV with all this crazy singing hippies! I remember being mesmerized by the approach the writer/songwriters used and wanted desperately to tell do my own twist on the story but lacked the illustrating skills at the time to pull it off. I also recall times in my own Bible Study, reading the Gospel and having this crazy dialogue going on in my head when certain characters like Lucifer, The Pharasees, and the various Demon Possessed people would appear on the scene. It's my hope that this series will be entertaining, it certainly has stretched my abilities as an illustrator and taken me in areas I havent explored with my art before.

Ive planned work for this series in my head for a couple of years now, and it's helped me to focus on the humanity of Christ more, which is something that is not really seen, IMO in cartooning and animation.
I wanted the look of Christ to be straight up Jewish, which he was. SInce he was a young man I wanted to portray that youthfulness also. I also wanted to make his skin a little darker than what I usually see depicted also. Let's face it, Israel is in the MIDEAST and its HOT!! LOL!

WOW! FANCY MEETING YOU HERE!!! THERE'S NO TELLING WHO YOU'RE GONNA MEET IN THE DESERT, IS THERE?? I'D OFFER YOU A BITE OF MY BURGER HERE, BUT I REALLY DONT LIKE TO EAT AFTER PEOPLE.....

YOU'RE JESUS, THE SON OF GOD, RIGHT? GEE, IT'S SO HARD TO TELL IN ALL OF THIS HEAT, YOU ACTUALLY COULD BE A MIRAGE, YOU KNOW.... HMMM, HOW CAN WE TELL IF YOU'RE THE REAL THING.... LET ME THINK.....

I KNOW!! LET 'S DO A LITTLE TEST! IT SHOULD'NT BE HARD FOR YOU, I MEAN, YOU'RE THE SON OF GOD, RIGHT?? PROVE IT RIGHT NOW!!! IF YOU'RE THE SON OF GOD, TURN THESE STONES INTO BEARD!! LET'S MAKE 'EM BAGELS!!!

iT IS WRITTEN, MAN SHALL NOT LIVE BY BREAD ALONE, BUT BY EVERY WORD THAT PROCEEDETH OUT OF THE MOUTH OF GOD.

GO 'BOUT YOUR BUSINESS, SATAN! YOU'RE BOTHERING ME! TALK TO THE HAND!

ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! .. WAIT A MINUTE, WILL YA! YOU'RE RIGHT! I MEAN, WHO CAN EAT FOOD IN THIS HEAT ANYWAY? WHAT YOU NEED IS A CHANGE OF SCENERY!! PERHAPS A MORE "RELIGIOUS SETTING" WOULD MAKE YOU FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE? I HAPPEN TO KNOW JUST THE PLACE, TOO! iN FACT, I'LL TAKE YOU THERE!!!

WELCOME TO THE PINNACLE OF THE TEMPLE CHURCH OF THE "MOST LOW" THE OFFICIAL HEADQUARTERS OF LUCIFER MINISTRIES, WHERE OUR MOTO IS, "DECIEVING THE LOST, AT WHATEVER THE COST". THE SUBJECT OF MY SERMON TODAY IS "TAKING A LEAP OF FAITH" BY THAT I MEAN LITERALLY!


OH, YOU DIDNT BRING YOUR BIBLE WITH YOU? IT DOESNT MATTER, I'LL JUST INTERPRET THE TEXT IN THE SAME WAY I DID FOR TWO FORMER PARISHONERS YOU MIGHT KNOW THEM, "ADAM, AND EVE?" ANYWAYS, ABOUT THAT LEAP OF FAITH I WAS TALKING ABOUT, IF YOU ARE THE SON OF GOD, AND WE HAVENT PROVEN THAT YET, WHY DONT YOU TAKE A FLYING LEAP OFF THE PENNACLE OF THE TEMPLE? GO AHEAD, CAST YOURSELF DOWN! YOU WONT GET HURT! I CAN PROVE IT BY OUR TEXT FOR TODAY FOUND IN THE BOOK OF PSALMS CHAPTER 91...

HERE'S THE PASSAGE NOW, IT READS.....
For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.
They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.

SEE THAT! I JUST PROVED MY POINT WITH SCRIPTURE!!!

OKAY, START JUMPING.....JUST THINK ABOUT THE IMPRESSION IT WOULD MAKE!! WHEN FOLKS SEE YOU LEAP OFF THE TEMPLE, AND ANGELS RESCUE YOU IN SPECTACULAR FASHION, THEN IT'S BONAFIDE PROOF THAT YOU'RE THE ANNOITED ONE!!! JUST THINK OF THE PUBLICITY!!!

I GUESS YOU FORGOT ABOUT THIS PASSAGE FOUND IN DEUTERONOMY CHAPTER 6 VERSE 16 THAT READS, "YOU SHALL NOT PUT THE LORD THY GOD TO THE TEST!!

OH....ER... I GUESS IT SLIPPED MY MIND, HEH.... ENOUGH OF THIS THEOLOGICAL DISCUSSIONS! THEY ONLY CAUSE ARGUMENTS!!! LET'S TALK BUSINESS!!! I HAPPEN TO KNOW ;JUST THE RIGHT PLACE.....

WELCOME TO MY MOUNTAIN TOP RETREAT!! MY NAME IS LOU C. FURR CEO AND PRESIDENT OF G.O.T.W. THAT STANDS FOR "GOD OF THIS WORLD" ENTERPRISES.

OH, BY THE WAY, DO YOU LIKE THE SUIT? IT'S 'HOT' YOU KNOW! I CAN GET YOU ONE IF YOU LIKE, I KNOW WHERE THEY PARK THE TRUCK!!

BUT ENOUGH SMALL TALK, LET'S TALK BUSINESS...

MIND IF I SMOKE? ... YEAH, I KNOW THESE THINGS WILL KILL ME, BUT WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? IM TRYING TO CUT DOWN! IM DOWN TO ONE MILLION PACKS A DAY!.... ANYWAYS, ABOUT BUSINESS, IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU HAVENT BEEN HUMAN VERY LONG JESUS, AND MAYBE YOU KINDA DONT KNOW HOW THINGS WORK DOWN HERE ON THE 'BIG BLUE MARBLE"....


THE FACT IS, THERE ARE CERTAIN REALITIES THAT RUN THIS WORLD, ALL UNDR MY CONTROL, IN SUBTLE WAYS..... MONEY FOR INSTANCE, SOME PEOPLE GOTTA HAVE IT, SOME PEOPLE REALLLY NEED IT, SOME PEOPLE DO BADDD THINGS WITH IT...

HMMMM, I OUGTA MAKE A SONG OUTTA THAT...

WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY IS, THAT YOU NEED A LOTTA THIS STUFF IN ORDER TO MAKE IT DOWN HERE. IT MAKES LIVING A LOT EASIER, AND MAKES NEGOTIATING VERRRRRY EASY...

I CAN HELP YOU GET YOUR HANDS ON A LOTTA THIS....

FOR A PRICE.....

HERE'S SOMETHING ELSE YA DONT KNOW...