The 5 Stages Of Getting Your Caricature Done For the First Time

STAGE ONE: OPEN MOUTH SHOCK

 At this Stage we finally see ourselves through the eyes of the caricature artist, and realize for the first time, we are not as good looking as we think we are.

STAGE TWO: ANGER AND DENIAL

In a lame effort to fool ourselves we insist that the artist that drew us is blink, nearsighted , or crazy. Phrases like,"THATS NOT ME!"  are accompanied by fits of rage and rising blood pressure. This is a dangerous stage for the offending artist who must be wary of blows, spittle bullets flying in his/her direction

STAGE THREE: MIND NUMBING  SHOCK

Once past the intense energy of the Anger Denial stage the subject falls into a state of mind numbing shock and hopelessness. At this stage all he can do is stare aimlessly at the caricature drawing. He reluctantly sees points of recognition and is coming to terms with the possible resemblance on the page being accurate. This stage is unpredictable and can last for several minutes or days in some cases.

STAGE FOUR: DESPAIRING RELUCTANT ACCEPTANCE

At this stage , your customer's skin may take on a bluish tinge, it's where we get the expression, "having the blues" At this stage, your customer has come to the awful realization that he is IN FACT , NOT as good looking as he previously thought and acted for years, and realizes that he must now change his entire world view and self concept.He feels a sense of hopelessness knowing that plastic surgery is not an option  and is not covered by his insurance plan. This is a dangerous time for the customer as he might throw himself headlong into traffic, or impail himself on your magic marker. bouts of intense weeping and gnashing of teeth are not unusual at this stage.If the customer can get past THIS stage he will make a startling breakthrough...

STAGE FIVE: UNCONDITIONAL POSITIVE REGARD AND SELF ACCEPTANCE

At THIS stage, the customer realizes that he is just as funny looking as every other human on this big blue marble. He comes to the realization that God MUST have a sense of humour, otherwise how could a face such as HIS possibly exist!? He begins to LOVE his imperfections and glory in his own personal uniqueness that no one else has! He begins to feel good about himself again, THIS time with the realization that he is NOW relating to his TRUE self, not an idealized concept. He begins to feel superior in that knowledge  knowing that the "average human" is still in the dark and that HE is now smarter! THIS makes him feel even BETTER! At THIS stage, he can now appreciate the awesome talent of the caricature artist in the first place and glory in the technique demonstrated.

Very few people get to THIS  transcendent stage, but for those who do, some of THEM end up not only having a fantastic time at parties and special events, but some go on to even  become caricature artists themselves! We are, after all, an enlighted group!

Have Elgin SUBWAYSURFER  Bolling  Take you safely through the five stages by inviting him to draw at your next party! dont just trust ANYONE to do this! leave that to the professionals! that way you dont get hurt! 

For more info, email Elgin at

cartoons4u2@aol.com

HOW TO BE A STARVING ARTIST part 2

11. PROCRASTINATION IS THE NATION YOU LIVE IN

Your national national anthem is the song, "Tomorrow" (it's always a day away )live by that!

12. THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS WRONG.

make him know that at every opportunity, in subtle and direct ways. Clients need to know who the professional is, and understand who is in charge, at all times.

13. "DONE" IS BETTER THAN "PERFECT"

Since NO ONE is perfect, or can ever BE perfect, why even strive for such an unrealistic, unattainable goal? Stop setting yourself up for inevitable failure. The fact is, your job doesn't have to be your best. It just has to be SOMETHING TANGIBLE. Your client will never know the difference, anyway.

14. DEADLINES ARE RELATIVE
Never let anyone bully you into finishing an assignment until you are good and ready. Clients who push for deadlines are trying to take away your power. Never give away your power, they never give it back.

15.FORGET ABOUT CALENDARS

Calendars and-appointment books are for morons with bad memories. Whatever you can't remember in your head, you can always scribble onto random slips of paper envelopes napkins whenever you can make a mark .
16. FORGET ABOUT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIPS

You don't need to form good business relationships you're not going to marry these people so what is the point? Just get their money, and go on to the next person. This isn't about romance! This s business! If you're swimming with the sharks you gotta keep it moving.

17. GIGS ARE MADE TO BE BROKEN

The word "GIG", means Get Income (that's)Greater!
Always take a better gig over your current gig, especially if it's more money! After-all
that's all about the Benjamin's and your client understands this. Even if they don't admit it.

18. CONTRACTS ARE FOR MOBSTERS AND HIT MEN

People are basically honest. A simple head nod, and handshake is enough to seal any deal. Your clients always have your best interests at heart.

19, YOU'RE NOT A FASHION MODEL, STOP DRESSING LIKE ONE.

Dress up is a pretend girlie game, and you need to act like an adult. Dress for comfort. You're only doing art, not selling real estate.

20. REPEAT THIS AFFIRMATION AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE.

IM JUST A STARVING ARTIST! IM JUST A STARVING ARTIST!
IM JUST A STARVING ARTIST! IM JUST A STARVING ARTIST!IM JUST A STARVING ARTIST! IM JUST A STARVING ARTIST!

Say it long enough and you'll definitely believe it, and most of all, live it! Say it to your friends, your family, even your other artist friends. With any luck, they'll join in the chorus, and you all can happily warm yourselves By the garbage can fire, as you collectively wonder where your next meal is coming from. Congratulations on achieving your goal! You worked hard to achieve it!