Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Unanswered Questions For CATHY by Elgin Subwaysurfer Bolling

Hi folks... in my last post I mentioned how the creator of the popular woman's strip, CATHY was calling it quits to pursue other creative endeavors. I dont know if she decided to take up deep sear diving with hammerhead sharks, or was on a quest to create the worlds best seaweed sushi or a combination of the two.. but I found myself not able to let this issue GO and wondered why...
After days of deliberation, contemplation , and regurgitation I finally figured out why I couldn't let Cathy GO!!!!

One word.
CLOSURE.

As human beings we find our selves always asking the same question when something ends badly.

WHY???

WHY was I fried?
WHY wont you go out with me?
WHY did my pet fish, fluffy die?

WHY???WHY???WHY???WHY???WHY???WHY???WHY???WHY???WHY???WHY???WHY???WHY???WHY???WHY???

As human beings we need closure to continue on.

You were fired because you collected a paycheck but never came to work.
Because you never change your underwear and you're smell like sewage.
Because You forgot to put water back into the tank

If we have CLOSURE we can understand why something went wrong. We also need closure to bring a conclusion to a story.
In Cathy's case, if the author artist KNEW she was ending this, and trust me folks she KNEW she was, then why didnt she tie things up for us nice and neat.

I personally would have loved to see Cathy

FINALLY lose those ten pounds for GOOD.

She could've gotten lipo suck, or the stomach staple thingie done and NOW FINALLY she will forever be able to fit her bathing suit and each all the chocolate she wants.

CLOSURE.

DUMP THE BOYFRIEND
Cathy could have given that cheapskate boyfriend, Irvin, or Irwin??? his walking papers.

"It's over Irvin... I dont need you anymore. Im finally the perfect size and I hav my chocolate to keep me warm."

CLOSURE.

GET RID OF MOM

Cathy has been locked in this co dependent hellish relationship with her sweet gray haired mom... at least that's the way she's drawn.... but actually Cathy's mom is a manipulating gray haired blood sucker who plays her daughter like a violin refusing to let her grow up. We should have been treated to one final scene where Cathy gloriously breaks free. I imagine the conversation being something like this:

Cathy: MOM! that's it!! I'm tired of having you manipulate me! You've ruined by life, held me back, made me doubt myself, that's IT!! I'm cutting the apron strings! Ive set you up in this nice new adult home where your lodging, your food, your playtime, your recreation has ALL been taken care of!!! As of this moment I NO LONGER NEED YOU!!!! WE'RE DONE!!

I imagine Cathy's Mom saying..

IT's about TIME!! I was beginning to worry that you'd NEVER be able to put on the "big girl panties!" When do I leave???

CLOSURE.

With these loose ends tied up we could have happily bid Cathy a fond fairwell and had her continue to live on in our imaginations living her own life clear and free and strong!!!

But NO! Cathy's creator HAD TO BE SELFISH and just leave us all DANGLING in cartoon comic strip purgatory!

Just like Charles Schultz did!
Dont let me get started on THAT subject!!!

Thats my rant for today

Elgin Subwaysurfer Bolling.