Thursday, May 19, 2011

HOW TO BE A STARVING ARTIST EBook By Elgin Subwaysurfer Bolling



Recently while speaking with some artist friends, the subject came up , as it always does, about "how business was ".  as usual  my ears were bombarded with the usual answers, " people just aren't buying," "this isnt the season" "its not what you know, its who you know" etc. etc. I mentioned a few things that had been working for me lately and was met by polite smiles and nods of the head, only to have people return to the same chorus of "Why Business Is Bad"....It occurred to me that perhaps I am doing things all wrong. In fact, maybe theres something wrong with ME! Conventional wisdom seems to suggest that Artists actually LIKE the title of "starving artist" why else would they fight so hard to live up to it? Being the entrepreneur that I am, I went to work on what perhaps will be my most successful Ebook: HOW TO BE A STARVING ARTIST! Here are a few excerpts from the upcoming book:

1.YOUR FRIENDS OPINIONS ARE ALWAYS RIGHT
Your friends who never lie to you. Thats why they're called friends.  You're friends after all because your opinions are the same. Refuse to listen to another point of view on matters regarding your work and your career. Listen to your friends ALWAYS. they are ALWAYS right. That's why they're your friends.

2.FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR BED
The Early Bird catches the worm is a dumb saying. Who wants to eat worms for breakfast anyway? Life is really stressful. Especially when you are an artist. You need all the sleep you can.  Your bed is the only place where you can find rest and peace. Dont just settle for sleeping at night, take a couple of naps during the day your work can wait.

3 WAIT FOR THE MOOD TO HIT YOU TO WORK
Its all about mood. You work best when you are happy. Whats the point of working when you feel sad, frustrated, or when your favorite sitcom is on? Work is one of life's constants. Its always going to be here, and there is always going to be more, not less of it. Since Work is already waiting to be done anyway, why not wait until the right MOOD hits you to do it then you can just breeze through it. Anyone who says otherwise is just a workaholic.

4 ALWAYS WORK AT THE LAST POSSIBLE MINUTE
Think about it, if someone put a gun to your head and said run the 100 yard dash in 2 seconds, you'd probably do it in one second. Pressure is GOOD for you. It energizes you. it makes you decide quickly what to do. that's how ALL the professionals work, regardless of what they TELL you. 


5 WHY READ IF YOU AREN'T IN SCHOOL?
If you've gone from kindergarten to college, you've already done a lifetime of reading. Trust me, there aint nothing new in those books anyway, so why waste time reading? All the author wants to do is get rich off of you, and give you useless advice. Leave the research to the professors. It's their JOB to read, after all....

6.FORGET "PRACTICE"
Practice is something beginners need to do.You are a professional, therefore, you dont NEED it.  You're not in art school , no one is grading you, so you dont need practice EVER. .Practice is for people who dont know what they are doing.


7 LEAVE THAT "TECHIE" STUFF TO THE GEEKS
Computer technology is for geeks. Leave that stuff to the techies. You're an artist. No need to learn this stuff anyway. If something breaks down you can just call someone to fix it. 


8 THE SUPERMARKET is The ONLY MARKETING YOU NEED TO KNOW.
Marketing involves unpleasant things like Math, Research, testing.... all of those annoying left brain activities that  will just jam up your creativity. Marketers are all soul less business drones in suits. Never sell out and be one of them! always know WHO you are! An ARTIST!


9 STAY IN YOUR COMFORT ZONE.... ITS COZY THERE.
Why do you THINK it's called a "comfort zone?" It's COMFORTABLE! Duh!!!  Lets be logical here, if someone asked you to trade in your nice comfy bed and mattress, for a bed of nails, what would you say? Yeah. I THOUGHT SO!


10 STOP LIVING IN A DREAM WORLD
We dont live in our imagination, we live in reality. The reality is that things are tough. You were dealt a certain "deck"in life, and NO amount of dreaming, affirming, or wishing will ever change that. Anyone who believes otherwise is fooling themselves.  


Yep folks, there you have it. If you want to be a success, and being a starving artist,  there it is! Good luck! These techniques WORK Guaranteed!   

3 comments:

Keelan Parham said...

Yeah, I LOVE this post. Gonna share it with some artists I know...

Thomas said...

Hi Elgin,

You should include a "irony" alert with this post, pointing out that the reader must always think the opposite of each point you made. Yup, follow these gems and a rocket sled to the starving artistdom is guaranteed.

Elgin Subwaysurfer Bolling said...

Thomas, ican see what you mean about the irony alert! I've written this so dryly, people may actually believe I'm serious! LOL! Then again, a part of me thinks NOT having one is part OTC the fun!